The Manifesto of a Bullied Adult: 

My Experience with Workplace Bullying 

I recently read an amazing blog post about how God makes our stories extraordinary and it made me realize that maybe God wants me to use my story to help others feel less alone in their suffering.  

The past few years of my life had been so easy, so happy.  I have an amazing husband who I adore and my dream of motherhood is realized in two fantastic little boys.  I had a job that I loved.  A job that was laid back, a job where I worked with people who I could call true friends and where I had supervisors who mentored me and believed in me. Then I had the opportunity to apply for what I considered to be my "dream job" ....and I got the job.  That's when everything changed.  

Until recently whenever I heard the word bullying I thought of kids taunting and pushing one another around.  I never equated it with adulthood or the workplace.  However a friend recognized what I was going through and reached out to me and sent me an amazing article that helped me put it all in perspective.  It's hard to put what I experienced into words but I will try.  

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/bully.htm

I won't rehash everything that I went through, but I will say that the hallmarks of my situation were isolation, loneliness, false allegations, not being given important work related information, and being undermined.  The event that finally pushed me to actually resign from my position was when I overheard a conversation.  A conversation that included a scathing review of my competence, attitude and work performance.  I now believe that I was meant to overhear this conversation- it was a tool meant to cause me to resign and it had the desired affect.  

So how did being bullied affect me?  I lost my joy.  I cried so much.  For months I was close to tears at all times.  I felt incredibly weak and shattered so much of the time.  I started to question and blame myself.  I became paranoid.  I became someone I didn't know anymore, someone I didn't like, and certainly not the fun, happy person I had loved being.  

Quitting hasn't immediately stopped all of those negative feelings, but things are getting better.  Every day I feel like I'm regaining my confidence a little bit.  My husband told me I'm starting to get my smile back and that is a very good thing.  

Bullying is serious and dangerous.  It needs to be recognized and not tolerated.  Serial bullies should not be ignored and allowed to keep finding new victims.  Victims shouldn't be villainized for standing up for themselves and speaking the truth.  

So yeah, this is my manifesto.  Me standing up and saying yes, I was bullied.  Yes, it affected me.  It affected me more than I care to admit.  Yes, I quit my job because of it.  Does that make me weak?  Yes, probably, but I am weak and loved by my God and loved by my family, more than I probably deserve by both.  So if you have a job where you are happy, a job where you have friends, a job where you are treated with respect, embrace it.  Don't take it for granted.  I am now looking for my next job and a happy environment is my number one hope.  

If you are having a hard time at work please know you're not alone.  If you know someone who is having a hard time please share this with them.  

And if you're reading this and you are a life ruiner?  You suck and you're probably a bully.  Normal people don't take pleasure in ruining other peoples' lives.